Can anyone tell me what's wrong with me?

Sounds like a classic case of "peopleitis". I get that two.Speaking from experience you have to figure some sort of mental exercise(yoga breathing or ?) that will work for you. Nosense in wasting energy on "why can't I be normal" feelings. That would be self defeating. Just find a coping mechanism that works for you. Embrace your positives and negatives and try to be the best person you can be.